Unwanted Feelings
by IronFistTina
Summary: The absence of a brother makes one value each other. But one-sided feelings hurts, especially when you know that your the only one who feels that way. One-sided JapanKorea, ChinaKorea, Itapan, and mentioned HungaryPrussia and RussiaFem!America.
1. Chapter One: Night

_Where are you my brother? I think about your absence but not as much as our younger brother does. He is looking for you but I cannot suffice for your absence, no I am not a good substitute for you. I can never be good enough…_

His pain stricken heart clenched by his hands as he thinks of his older brother.

The one who raised them…

Fed them…

Taught them…

The one he betrayed.

The thought of that betrayal sickened the Japanese man; oh where did those innocent times were have gone? The times where the world was still pleasant, peaceful and calmer…

Where were those times?

Questions like this buried into his mind as he sits in his house alone, sipping his tea and just waiting for time to fly by.

It's quiet…

Quiet…

"Kikuuuuuu!"

Correction, it _was_ quiet…

The Japanese man rose from his little conservative seat to see who was calling him, but it would not be necessary since he knows who uttered those loud and slightly ear shattering noises. He inwardly sighed as the figure approached.

"Yong Soo… Would you please use your inside voice? And shouldn't you be busy annoying Tu Tien this time?" he says as he places his cup on the table.

"Well, hello to you too." Yong Soo replied ignoring the Japanese's complaints

"So what brings you here?" The Japanese man asked with a slightly annoyed tone.

"Can't I visit my brother without being asked why I did?" The Korean asked with a blank innocent face, one that he tends to do too often.

"You should have called though, or waited outside and rang the door bell…"

"I did, you didn't answer. I was waiting for ten minutes out there!"

_Oh right, I mush have been consumed with my own thoughts to hear it ringing…._

_I have been a slave to my thoughts, a total slave. _

_Why…?_

"Kiku… Kiku…? What's wrong with you?" The Korean poked the Japanese man's cheeks as he stared into the blank space.

"Oh… N-nothing…"

_I've been doing this so much ever since Yao-nii's absence…_

_It's been so long, if a person like me is this upset then what about Yong Soo?_

"Would you like some tea Yong Soo…? He turned to his brother with a smile.

"Of course, I invented tea da-ze!" the Korean grinned as he sat on the floor eagerly. Normally Kiku would fire back at him telling him that he did not invent the certain things he claimed to have but he just ignored it and poured him a cup.

"So why did you visit…?" Kiku asked as he began to pour himself a cup.

"I… was bored I guess… And aneue is kinda busy…" He replied as he took a sip from his cup.

_It figures, he's usually occupied bugging Yao-nii all the time when we were little, Tu Tien is like a big sister to him though. She seems to be doing a good job, I know if I were to take care of him it would get on my nerves._

"Is that so..?" he dismissively asks while he takes another sip.

"Uhuh…"

"So you thought visiting me would ease your boredom?"

"Well, you do have interesting things in your house…"

"I see…"

This continued as the two sat drinking tea unaware of the night growing darker and darker. Questions asked and either blunt of unsure answers replied. Either way, the night was long, conversations lengthened but the ailments uncured.

* * *

Tina's Blah blah corner:

So hey guys, this fic was inspired by the RPs I have on facebook. Obviously my character is Japan and this fic kind of holds record of what's been up. Since I'm starting with some old RPs I am not entirely accurate on how the RP went. It starts off a little bit blah but I assure you things will happen in a few chapters, I'll try to update once a week. And this time I will TRY to finish this.

Critiques wanted, Reviews would be loved~ 3


	2. Chapter Two: Childhoods and Infatuation

**Chapter two: Childhoods and infatuation**

The light of the sun was shining through a glass window as the birds chirped outside. The morning was here and Kiku finds himself asleep on his table.

_Wh-what happened…? Wait, where is- he must've let himself out when I fell asleep. G..ah.. And why does my head hurt so much…?_

Unfortunately sleeping on a hard table does not really bring the best results especially to man that age. He got up from the table noticing things that are not supposed to be there.

Books and paper…? No, it was a photo album and old photographs.

_I remember now, we were talking about our past and about how our family used to be so close…_

_Emphasis on "used to be"_

He picked up the scattered photographs off the table and floor and stacked them neatly. As bent down to pick up the album he noticed a misplaced photograph behind the tea kettle.

"Hmmn? What's this?"

As he glanced at the photograph to pick it up he remembered old memories dear to him. The photograph had shown them all in the family being themselves. Yong Soo happily bugging Yao with Kaoru in his arms, Mei hugging Kiku who was flustered and in the background, Tu Tien giving Yao an angry glare of some sort.

As he looked at the picture he unknowingly smiles. He remembered how he used to have a crush on Mei and how the four of them used to play together, and then how his crush shifted from Mei to Yong Soo.

Wait, Yong Soo?

He suddenly slapped himself thinking about it, what was he doing? Thinking about those kinds of things, surely he has grown out of it. He was a child back then, now he's older, wiser, better and…

Broken…?

_Broken._

That's right, shifting from one infatuation to another. Maybe even a few dates to say the least but nothing. Being harassed was not a real relationship, if it was then he'd been into so much relationships by then. Why did he have to remember such facts about himself? He must forget. Must forget…

He picked up the photograph and snuck it into the stack of photos.

_It's best if I don't recall such things, it's bad for me…_

He placed the album and photographs back on the book shelf and started cleaning up. There was so much trash, and much of which he did not remember coming from him.

_What are these? Pocky boxes, on the floor? Oh wait… They're Pepero boxes. _

He sighed as he picked up the empty boxes, he should be used to this by now. Yong Soo always scatters these boxes around before he leaves, must have been a habit of some sort. Maybe in a way he was trying to prove that Pepero was better than Pocky? As if Kiku would ever admit it or even think of losing to him about which one was better, never would that happen.

It took him about an hour to clean his dining room, waste baskets were filled and tea cups washed.

Now nothing was going to distract him from his thoughts.

Absolutely nothing.

Silence filled the room as he sat there alone.

_I need to fill my mind with something so I won't get depressed._

_Maybe I should- no! That'll make me remember when… and then. Oh how about- Wait he might probably try to get me naked again. Oh darn it…_

Thinking of something to waste his time was probably not his strong suit.

_I GOT IT!_

He took out his old bow and arrow set from his closet and head up out in his garden. I was a great day to be out, it was not too hot that it scorched your skin and it was not raining either.

He prepared to pull back on his bow aiming for a previously left out apple core in the garden.

_Steady… Steady… Don't want to hit Pochi-kun near my window… Stead-_

"KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKUUUUU!"

_Shit_

He accidentally let go of the bow, the arrow missed the apple core but luckily for Pochi-kun it hit the window instead of him.

He face-palmed himself as he went to face the "unknown" distraction.

* * *

Tina's Blah blah corner:

So I didn't base this part on any RPs except for the last part because RPs usually start out random (with us anyway) the plot isn't really planned like the other RPs I've seen where they have to describe the scene, moment, time, day etc. The next part would really be based on a real role play.

OH crap this chapter is so short and boring, I _tried_ to make it longer and more interesting but I fail at that.

Critique, grammar and spell check is loved.


	3. Chapter Three: Tricks

**Chapter three: Tricks**

"Hey, did you replace your sword-thing for a bow and arrow?" Yong Soo appeared at the best moments.

"Uh, ano- I thought that it was time for a change" He replied blankly at the Korean.

"Hmn- Well a bow is kind of less badass then a sword but it makes you seem smarter, you know?" He said passing judgment easily with the same silly smile he had on.

Kiku stared at him obviously annoyed. He looked at his bow and arrow and smiled evilly, he had a plan.

"Yes, yes it does…" He smiled as he took out another arrow and set to its firing position and pointed it at him.

"Don't you shoot me!" Yong Soo slightly backed up.

"Don't worry, I won't shoot you. Just your hair curl"

"Why?"

"Because it annoys me" He answered as he glared at the curl.

"Stop making mean eyes at my hair curl! You don't mind Feliciano's or Taiwan-chan's!"

"It's because yours is much more annoying!"

_Much more annoying_

Was this bias or favoritism? Was this a plot to get the Korean away from him, stop annoying him and leave him alone? Or was this something more?

He grabbed his curl and stared at it, the Korean begged him to let go. He refused, something changed when he grabbed his hair curl… something changed… But what?

"Gck! K-kiku, let go!"

"L-let go!"

"P-please let go…?"

That's right; the usually annoying Korean was acting very different. 'Please' was not really his most used word, actually Kiku has never heard him say it before. Then and there, he knew he could take advantage of this opportunity.

"What are you going to do…?" he asked as he smiled slyly and played with the curl between his fingertips.

The Korean begged him to be released, that word uttered more and more.

"Please..."

_Please._

He did not know why but it was like a drug to him, hearing him this way; Polite and even though it killed him to acknowledge it but also quite cute.

Cute? That's the word he would never describe Yong Soo of all people, why now?

"Acting polite I see, I'm never letting go!" He proclaimed like he had actually discovered something so great.

"Nooo! I'm sorry for whatever I did wrong! Please let go, Onii-san!"

_Those words, THOSE WORDS. Were they really uttered by Yong Soo? This can't be him, it must be a lie!_

But it was true, he _was _under his control. Kiku smiled his evil smile knowing that he can do anything to the poor boy. Did he think of payback for all those groping he did in the past? Did he want him to become his little toy and make him do what he wanted? Or did he want something else…?

He looked at the figure in front of him; face red and simply begging to be set free.

Then suddenly he noticed something, why was his heart beating fast? Was this discovery so intense even his emotions are flooding?

"Onii-san…!"

_Oh dear God… That's so cute…_

That is right; he was overwhelmed on how cute his 'little brother' was. He blushed furiously as he saw him so overcome like putty in his hands. He took out his camera from his hind pocket and started taking pictures of him.

_Savor every moment._

The Korean saw this and blocked the camera with his hand.

"That's not very nice! Onii-san!"

There it again, that word! Why does this make his heart beat so fast? It's driving him crazy. He accidentally drops the camera and hugs him with his free arm as he plays with his curl.

"I wish you'd be this polite all the time…"

What is this, Yong Soo being so polite and Kiku actually giving a hug? What is this blasphemy?

"Am I rude? I'm sorry! Please don't be mad!" The Korean said as he clung to the Japanese's clothing.

This made Kiku blush and him mind wandered off until the thought of Yong Soo's submission reminded him of dirty little things. Remembering things suddenly made him let go of the curl.

"What was THAT, Kiku?"

_He_ was back.

Kiku stuttered, he did not know what to say.

"Don't touch my curl! You almost set my evil twin loose!" The Korean lashed out and pointed his finger towards him.

_Evil twin…?_

"Evil? You were being so polite and dare I say it, adorable. How could that be evil?"

"I'm always polite"

_Always…?_

He gave him a blank stare and smacked him on the head.

"Don't make me grab your hair curl again!"

"I'm not adorable now?" Yong Soo asked pouting.

"N-not as adorable as moments ago."

"Was I really, really cute?"

"D-don't get your hopes up." He replied shuffling his feet then quickly mumbling a small 'yes'.

"Really? Maybe you should grab my curl more often, huh?" Yong Soo's face lit up with a grin.

"What the…I thought you didn't like…Hmnnn… Maybe I should…" Kiku smiled evilly as he changes his thoughts.

"Well… It appears that all it does is intensify my natural charisma, so what's the harm?"

The Korean babbled as Kiku's thoughts clouded his mind. His curiosity getting the best of him until…

"…it's just my true colors shining through the mask I created so I don't bedazzle everybody"

He grabbed his curl again.

"True colours, eh?"

The Korean changed yet again, ready to be taken advantage of. Kiku's imagination got the best of him…

"Hmmnn… I wonder…" he pondered as he took the curl and kissed it.

The Korean shuddered and grabbed him as he blushed.

"Onii-chan! Th-that's wrong! I-isn't that incest? "

"…It's not if you're not actually related" He replied as he smiled evilly and chuckled under his breath

_Perfect._

_Just perfect…_

* * *

Tina's Blah blah corner:

So three updates in one week? Well, that's what happens when you procrastinate a lot.

Anyway, this chapter is based on an RP. Some of the lines are actually word-per-word and some were revised and/or cut out.

WOW in MS word this seemed a lot longer. O_O'''

I've already started on chapter four but I should actually study right now.

Please Review and critique. :3

And please point out some spell check, those would be loved as well~


	4. Chapter Four: Always

**Chapter Four: Always **_**  
**_

The Korean shuddered under the control of his 'older brother'. Kiku nibbled on the hair curl while Yong Soo hid his face against his shoulder, blushing.

"Onii-saaaan!"

"You are so cute… Why can't you be like this all the time?" Kiku says as he touches the Korean's lips with his free hands fingertips as he continues to play with the curl in his mouth.

"Ano- Onii-chan... am I usually d-different?" Yong Soo asked, blushing heavily.

"Yes… Very. Who knew I could have so much fun with you?" He says as he kisses his cheek.

…_fun? _

The Korean was entirely overcome; Kiku liked this… maybe a little too much for his own good.

"I wonder what it would be like if Yao-nii joined us?" Kiku said as he continued playing with the curl.

"Ah! Is h-he here? I'd be too embarrassed to see him!" he said as he cowered against Kiku.

"It would be really cute if it was the three of us but since it's just the two of us...

What do you want me to do?" He smirked as he brought his face closer to the others.

" I d-don't know... what d-do you want... Onii-chan?"

Yong Soo shook at kiku's smirk, face red as he looked at him.

"Maybe… Something like this?"

"Something like wha-"

Before he could respond Kiku softly placed his lips on the others.

"Hmmm... I thought you'd taste something like Kimchi but you taste sweet... like candy perhaps?"

Yong Soo ate candy earlier before the encounter, no wonder.

He stroked his hair as he kept on complimenting him on how cute he was…

How "moe" he had acted… He just could not help himself. The Korean struggled but under this state he was simply just weaker.

"B-but if I'm usually d-different... then you don't like me... just this me..."

This struck him on the head, did he really like Yong Soo just because he was acting like this?

_Ba-bump… Ba-bump…_

_Ba-bump…_

His heart raced when he thought about Yong Soo even before but now he knew what he was feeling and it is time to face these feelings.

"Sincerely... I like you a lot. But the different you is always preoccupied with somebody else. I can't- I can't get you when you like somebody else." He replied as he snuggled against him, his face slightly lower.

"Onii-chan? Did I do something wrong?" he said as he grabbed his hands.

_Shit. This is so cute…_

"N-no, I'm sorry but I have to say that I like you but it would make no difference since you really like him more..."

"Y-you mean Aniki?" He said as he brought his hand to his chin and pondered.

"I c-could like you more… If you liked me b-back..."

As Kiku heard this he internally smiled.

"I-I do like you, I've always... But I always thought I'll be pointless. Yes, I do like you, there I said it." He said staring into the Korean's eyes, blushing.

_Always…_

"R-really? Th-then I, I like you too, Onii-chan!" the tone of his voice happy and sweet.

"But if I let go of Seoul- wouldn't you forget about this? I mean... after this, I could never help myself with you even in your normal state" the reply, dreadful in tone.

"Ahh... I d-don't know? But you have to let go, right? Eventually..."

_Eventually…_

"I-I know. But would you mind, if I kissed you one more time before I let go?"

"W-will you?"

Face flushed, the Japanese man stood.

"I would, if you'd want it..." he drew his face closer to the Korean's lips barely an inch away.

Then suddenly Yong Soo kissed him instead, Kiku was shocked. His face was red as he deepened the kiss, his cheeks getting warmer as the kiss deepened, he was so caught up that he did not realized that he had let go of the hair curl. Yong Soo stood there as they were kissing regaining his senses as he continued the kiss. It took Kiku quite a while to realize that he let go of the one thing that actually made this kiss possible.

"Mhmmmm…."

Then he realized…

"Hmmn?"

He pulled away from the kiss.

"Yong Soo? What... Huh?" he gasped, face red and completely confused.

"I didn't know you felt that way, Kiku" The Korean grinned happily.

"You- Uh- I... would be lying if I said I didn't. So, did you remember any of that?" Kiku asked bashfully looking away.

"All of it!" The Korean laughingly replied as he took Kiku's hands.

"So you still know everything. I thought you'd forget everything, I mean..." he nervously shuffled then suddenly smiled sweetly.

"Hmn? What's with the sudden cute smile?"

"That means I could do this without hesitation..." He pulls him into a kiss while Yong Soo kissed him back enthusiastically.

They held each other tight, never letting go.

Savoring this moment they had right now…

Lovingly in each others arms.

…_always._

_

* * *

_

Tina's Blah Blah corner:

Okay then, you guys must've expected rape because of the last chapter. Well, this IS rated under "T" so no rape but sexual themes may be mentioned. MENTIONED, okay?

The next Chapter might include the "angst" so yeah, just warning you.

Most of the plot of the story has been already made up since RPing is kinda like that~

And always remember: Reviews are LOVED! And don't you forget that~

Is it me or was this chapter kinda short. :I


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